The fragile gift...

My fragile little gift 

Cigarettes and coffee 

Have to get my morning start

Off to work as the morning departs 

Why is my life falling apart

I get in my car 

N get to work

I wish I had a job better than this

Flipping burgers

Covered in grease

Teen cashiers filled with lust and covered in acne

Ohh I wish I could get out of this scene

I just wish I could come clean

God I wish I didn't have to fake a smile

Why do I live in such denial

Why did I agree to walking down the isle

I get home and I cry

Why did I say I do 

Why did I become his bride

A Bruised and abused spouse

He calls me damaged goods 

Why am I bleeding

Why am I seeing blood

I was so caught up in all of this

I didn't know he existed

Unfortunately the little one is resting

I never even got the chance to start nesting

God help me why is this happening to me

I love you Jordan Rest In Peace

Ohh how I wish I had you next to me

Beat me n broke me til I blacked out

Sent you to the beautiful kingdom up above 

You 7 months in the making my love

I realized I had lost my everything my world, my love, my little lion cub

I was all alone in this world once again

Oh Jayden I'm sorry

You were a fragile gift 

That was shaken n stirred

To the point that all you heard is the glass move when it was turned

Ohh Jayden Im a horrible person

No mommy I know you fought 

I know you screamed

Your life was falling apart at the seams 

Oh honey I love you 

Mommy I love you too

My life was becoming too much

Overwhelming 

Tense to the touch

Ohh how I wish that we could become one

But I'm not even half the person I thought I was 

Oh god why did I loose him 

His life hadn't even begun

Ohh Jayden I'm done 

No mommy you cannot

Ohh Jayden I've grown tired n weary

No mommy

You have never been this strong

Ohh mommy I wish i could've felt your warm touch

Oh Jayden you are my angel above

Looking down at your mommy 

Who's learned to call cold n hatred warmth and love

Ohh baby I'm sorry I don't deserve to be your mom

Ohh Jayden I wish I could still have you on this earth with me

Oh mommy you do 

Me and you have become one

Oh how I wish I could've carried you to term my little love bug 

Oh how I wish I could've given birth to you 

The lights got soo bright

So intense 

They became too much

That light is beautiful isn't mommy

Yes my love it is

Mommy I missed you

I've missed you too my little lion cub

Mommy mommy you wanna play 

No honey mommy needs to rest

So mommy lays her head down 

N falls asleep

My mommy looks so beautiful 

She's finally at peace

She went to sleep 

And she came back to me

Oh Jayden I missed you my son ohh mommy let's go walk on the water it will be fun

He grabs my hand 

As the golden gates appear

Ohh god thank you for sending my son

I felt at peace and ohh I was stunned 

Come on my children I want to welcome you to my heavenly kingdom 

I cried with my son in my arms

Held the lord's hand 

And I asked ohh god why did you claim my son before his life had begun?

He said because my child he is your strength your rock your reason to fight 

Yes Heavenly Father you are right

But why did he leave so soon

Because he was a gift that wasn't meant to be opened yet my love 

R.i.p. Jayden Blissful Wong 

I love you my little lion cub 

Mommy is gonna get better okay

I'm sorry that this happened to you my precious little gift

I will see you again when it's my time my love. 

I promise Jayden I will see you again okay...

And I'll bring you your lion...